


it's for the best.

by NicoAndTheNineGalaxies



Series: Vent Fics [8]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Again, Angst, M/M, i write a lot of these, sorry - Freeform, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-04 01:24:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17888906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NicoAndTheNineGalaxies/pseuds/NicoAndTheNineGalaxies
Summary: The only place for him was far away, nowhere near these amazing people who dealt with so much from him.  Because how could he hurt people who only ever gave and never asked anything in return?





	it's for the best.

**Author's Note:**

> another vent fic.
> 
> i think i just lost one of my best friends. i may have also lost another one and possibly my girlfriend, too. the text conversation between logan and roman is almost exactly, word-for-word, a text conversation i had with that friend today.
> 
> stay safe. i love you.
> 
> galaxy ||-//

_ Roman: hey _

 

_ Logan: Hello. _

_ Logan: Is something wrong?  You seem unusually subdued. _

 

_ Roman: i wanted to talk to you about something serious. _

_ Roman: about our friend group. _

 

_ Logan: Alright… _

_ Logan: What about it? _

 

_ Roman: i think it’s going to fall apart again.  it happened with virgil and damien, and then again with me and remy.  but this time it’s not with them. it’s us. _

 

_ Logan: I’m afraid I don’t understand. _

 

_ Roman: you and patton are always sitting there across the table, so perfect, and virgil and i feel like we’re second best.  patton’s always your first choice. you’re sad without him around. _

_ Roman: and then, of course, there’s the fact that you’re perfect at everything.  every single class, you’re acing it from day one. you can act and sing better than me and your ukulele playing is even better than patton’s.  plus guitar, piano, and violin, which none of us can play. you’re so perfect that sometimes it’s hard to be around you. _

 

Logan could feel tears gathering in his eyes.  Perfect? Better? That wasn’t him. That was anyone  _ but _ him.  What was happening?  He couldn’t even have this conversation properly.

 

_ Logan: I don’t see myself as perfect, not in the least.  The reason other people see me as good at these things is because nothing is good enough for me.  I’m not smart enough or attractive enough or thin enough or good enough for anyone. I don’t deserve any of you guys.  I try to be good, I’m always trying to improve because otherwise I’m never going to be happy with myself. I can’t change that.  I’m sorry I’m so insecure and I’m sorry you guys feel this way but I just feel like i’m never going to be enough and if I stop working at all of this everything’s going to fall apart.  I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know that it affected people like that…but this just proves my point. I’m not good enough for you guys, clearly. I get it if you don’t want me around.  I’m sorry. Bye. _

 

And oh, what a strange experience it was to just let his emotions run freely.  And to  _ Roman, _ of all people.

He quickly sent texts to Virgil and Patton telling them to talk to Roman for an explanation, and everything only sunk in once he hit send on the text to Patton - his boyfriend.  Did he just break up with his boyfriend, who was quite possibly one of the only good things that had ever happened to him?

It hit him.  It hit him so hard and suddenly he found himself crying on the floor of his bedroom, clutching his phone to his chest.

Not just crying, though.

He was sobbing.

It was too much, too much too much  _ too much. _

He’d been so convinced he wasn’t doing well enough, but maybe he was doing too well.  Isolating those around him, those he loved most.

Couldn’t they just be happy for him…?

No.  Not when he was like this.  Not when he was lonely and self-destructive and insecure.  Not when he was himself. How could they be happy for someone who only ever drained them, who treated them like they should be happy to be around them, who acted like nothing was good enough?

He must’ve made them feel inadequate, too, without even realizing it.

Maybe, in the end, the only place for him was alone.

The only place for him was far away, nowhere near these amazing people who dealt with so much from him.  Because how could he hurt people who only ever gave and never asked anything in return?

_ I have to be alone.  It’s best for everyone. _

_ It’s best for everyone, they’ll all feel better. _

_...Except me.  I’ll feel worse. _

_ But they’ll be alright, and isn’t that all that matters? _


End file.
